By Steve de Witt

Where’s our Victory over Covid party?

No dancing in the streets, kissing nurses, bonfires for masks, victory parades and presenting doctors with medals?

The war is won… but Cyril has ended it with a whimper not a bang. He should be gathering us for one final TV chat, stagger up the podium pissed wearing a party hat, pop champagne and have tinsel showers and fireworks go off behind him.

Instead we get someone called Joe Phaahla quietly posting in the gov gazette “No more musks” and, pfffffff, just like that, Covid fizzles out into history…

Why aren’t we having a party, Cyril?

What are we going to tell our grandchildren one day?

“Aye, it was quite something, lad. The world stopped for two years. No busses, trains, aeroplanes, nothing… They locked us up in our homes, withheld booze and smokes, patrolled the streets with guns and arrested the surfers.”

“You can’t be serious, Grandpa. How did you earn money to buy food?”

“We grew vegetables, me boy! It was the darkest of days, I tell you. People were dying left right and centre. Undertakers patrolled the streets everyday shouting, “Bring out your dead!” Me myself, I survived with a flesh wound, a rash on me testicles from the jabs they stabbed us with.”

“How did the war end, Grandpa?”

“Very quietly, son… the health minister stole all the money and got fired. Some guy called Joe replaced him and wrote in the newspaper that we’ve won… We’re still waiting to party.”

“We’re you a hero in the war, Grandpa?”

“We all were, son. Killed more germs with alcohol spray than you’ll ever know. Thank God for people like us…”

“Is it true that I’ve got 14 fingers because of the war?”

“Aye lad, it’s true… sorry ‘bout that. The jab wasn’t tested enough. But consider yerself lucky – you’ve got two penises!”

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Editor’s comment

Steve de Witt, a friend and contributor to The Observation Post wrote on COVID, it resonated with me as a survivor, having been hospitalised with Covid for an extended period, it also plays right up to my ‘dark’ military sense of humour and put a smile on my dial, Cyril Ramaphosa where is our VE Day indeed. Thanks again Steve – Peter Dickens.

Thanks also to Frans Bedford-Visser for the VE Day colourised images